This Holiday Season — Start the Conversation

Ten years ago, I decided to do something simple but meaningful: I collected all of my family’s favorite recipes. I called every aunt, uncle, and cousin and had them walk me through their dishes — the little secrets, the funny mishaps, the “don’t you dare substitute this” instructions. I typed each one up, designed the pages using my graphic skills, and turned it all into a family cookbook.

I handed them out as Christmas gifts that year. Today, a decade later, my family still pulls out those books for birthdays, special events and celebrations. And every time they do, I feel this quiet sense of peace and satisfaction. Because those memories — the flavors, the stories, the nostalgia — won’t be lost. They’ll outlive all of us…it’s my own little addition to our family time capsule.

That cookbook taught me something: preserving what matters doesn’t happen by accident. You choose it. You act on it. You create it.

And that’s exactly why this season is the perfect moment to start a different kind of preservation — the conversation about legacy, planning, and what we want to leave behind.

Why this conversation matters — and how to shift your mindset

Most people avoid these topics because they feel heavy: death, money, estate planning. No one wants to “ruin the vibe.” But what I’ve learned — personally and professionally — is that when these conversations come from love and understanding, they create clarity, security, and connection.

Just like capturing family recipes, talking about your values, your wishes, and your plans is an act of preservation. And more importantly — an act of love.

Ask yourself:

• What legacy do I want my loved ones to carry forward?

• How do I want them to feel when they think of me?

• What can I put in place now to make life easier for them later?

When planning becomes a gift instead of a chore, everything shifts.

l) allow strangers to talk about death over tea and snacks.

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Starting the conversation—a mini guide

You want to talk to your parents about death, but you don’t know how. That’s OK. You might not have peers going through this, but you can still take steps toward understanding and support:

• Name the fear: First of all, it’s okay to be afraid of losing your parents. Saying it out loud is a brave first step.

• Ask open-ended questions: Try “What do you want us to know about your wishes?” or “What matters most to you as you age?”

• Use media as a bridge: Share a TikTok, podcast, or article that resonates and use it to start a conversation.

• Journal your own wishes: You may not be a parent yet, but thinking through what you value can give you empathy—and clarity.

• Look for opportunities to build community online: Reddit threads, Discords, and TikTok comments often turn into support groups. You might find your people there.

How to bring your family into the conversation (without making it weird)

Yes, these topics can feel uncomfortable. But they don’t have to take over the holiday or become a somber moment. Think of it like sharing a recipe — passing down the ingredients of your life so the ones you love can continue what you started.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

• Pick a calm moment. After dinner, during a walk, or when everyone is winding down. 

• Lead with simple love. “Aunt Mae, your sweet potato pie is my favorite every year. Can you show me how you make it?”

• Invite them in. Ask questions that spark a two-way dialogue, not a lecture. “It’s open enrollment season at my job, what type of benefits do you receive? Why did you pick that?”

• Acknowledge the discomfort. It’s completely okay to say, “This isn’t easy, but it matters…have you ever thought about who keeps your kids if something happens to you?” 

• Start with meaning. Talk about the values you hope they’ll carry on before diving into details. i.e. “Grandma, your house is super important to me and the family. What are you hopes for it in the future?” 

• Play Time: Turn the questions into a game. Have everyone write a few questions on slips of paper and add them to a bowl to be answered by everyone i.e. “Would you rather be buried or cremated?” or “Who don’t you want invited to your funeral?” Some of the responses make for great dialogue.

Turning the Talk into Action

A conversation plants the seed — but the follow-through protects your family.

That means:

• Documenting your assets and how to access them (i.e. insurance policies, deeds, birth certificates, etc.)

• Communicating your choices and the “why” behind them 

• Preserving your stories, values, and memories alongside the practical paperwork

Your legacy is more than accounts. It’s the recipes, the history, the lessons, the voice only you have.

Start now — the greatest gift you can give

The holidays are about connection. About remembering who we are, where we came from, and who we belong to. Talking about legacy, planning, and the future is simply an extension of that love.

At InHeirit, we’re here to help you do just that.Start where you are. Use the time you have. Protect the people you love.

Start the Conversation. 

Build Your Legacy. 

Get Back to Joy.